You haven't been to a movie in a year.
You only eat at restaurants that have a "family friendly" atmosphere. Meaning that if your toddler is standing in his highchair screaming and throwing crayons/bread/his shoes at other patrons, no one will notice.
You won't spend money on fancy bodywash for yourself, but you will buy leave-in conditioner for your little boy because it will make his hair more smooth and shiny.
Likewise, you won't buy new shoes for yourself, but those little Pumas are just so cute and he totally needs them!
You have dirty diapers in your nightstand and pee on your sheets (but perhaps this one isn't just limited to people with kids).
Your pots & pans are in your tupperware cupboard and your tupperware is in your pots & pans cupboard.
You have maple syrup in your rug. (Anyone know how to get that out?)
You routinely discuss the contents of your baby's diaper.
Your idea of a vacation is going to the grocery store alone.
People routinely tell you "You sure have your hands full!". (Thanks, by the way. Not like I wasn't aware of that already. Now I think that you must think I look frazzled.)
You quit sorting laundry. Red and blue are both kinda dark, right?
You have picked up poop with your bare hands. True story.
Oh the gloriousness of parenthood!